Would you like to see this guy play in the forthcoming MLB All-Star Game?


Mustache Pete

What about this guy?


Mustache Giambi

What do they share in common? Well, if it doesn't seem obvious enough to you on the surface, there are a couple of things I notice. 1, they are both steroid popping maniacs. 2, they both proudly sport mustaches. Even if one of them really doesn't...

But no matter, because when it comes to mustaches, it's all for one and one for all. In other words, those who live by the mustache die by the mustache. Or they at least try to cash in on the All-Star Game perks in their contracts by joining the mustachian elite.

It seems that the American Mustache Institute has thrown it's weight behind a campaign to get Jason Giambi of the dreaded and dreadful New York Yankees selected to the All-Star Game. Nevermind that they failed in that quest. Isn't it mind-boggling enough that there even is an American Mustache Institute?

I, of course, take the American Mustache Institute as seriously as the next guy, but to say that Jason Giambi's hitting prowess, plus a fashionable mustache, equals a bona fide All-Star is just ridiculous. Last time I checked, Fox was raking in almost $800,000 per ad spot for the upcoming All-Star Game. And while I’m impressed with Giambi’s post-steroids .256 batting average, I’m not that impressed. Not All-Star impressed.

Stache or not.